Samuel Attaway was having the best day ever. He had been awoken by an unknown but incredibly beautiful woman walking into his room and closing the door behind her; without saying a word, she had let her dress fall to the floor and walked over to him with a smile. He asked her name, but she responded by pulling aside the blankets and giving him a look that stopped every thought in his head save one. Her long black hair framed her naked body, her pale, flawless skin illuminated in the moonlight that shone through the window. She stroked a finger up his inner thigh and knelt between his legs, taking him in her mouth. He gave a small sigh of pleasure as her tongue caressed him and lay back, eyes closed, all of his attention on the amazing sensations that washed over him. She was far from his first, but he had never experienced anything quite like this; the way her tongue seemed to be everywhere at once, lapping, stroking, sucking… He clutched the mattress and gasped. He couldn’t take much more of this. Was she a goddess? He had to know her name; he was having trouble forming coherent thoughts, but nothing in the world mattered but that this woman stay with him forever, that he get to experience *this* again. She was amazing.

The door slammed open. Before he could open his mouth to protest, Gerard barrelled in, sword in hand, and with one move decapitated the new love of his life. Her body slumped and fell off the bed, her head still resting on his hip and reflexively somehow still sucking as the blood pooled around it.

“AUUUGH!” He screamed, scrambling up the bed and out of the growing lake of blood. The head bounced to the floor with a wet thud, splitting like an overripe melon into a mess of scarlet and grey.

“Gerard, what the FUCK!?”

Gerard shrugged, averting his eyes from Samuel’s very prominent nakedness and wiping his blade clean on a handkerchief.

“She was a mimic. Sorry.”

Samuel looked again at the body, which was rapidly melting into a shapeless mass of flesh and unidentifiable fluids all over his expensive carpet. He sagged. “You couldn’t have waited just five more minutes, though?”