Email: katrina_of_maldon@misrule.chaosdeathfish.com

My dear father,

It is with profound regret and deepest lamentation that I write to inform you of your daughter’s latest transgressions. Whereas before, we might have hoped that enrolment at the University of Oxford would temper her wildness, I can now state with absolute certainty that it has blossomed into outright debauchery.

I needn’t mention details when I state that the company Kat keeps is abhorrent: their affiliations dubious; their morals, beyond prayer. I almost wish it might be said that our mother had played you false – or else, that whilst in swaddling clothes, the fae had made some vile exchange – for it grieves me to think that the fault of having sired her lies with you.

I pray to God that Katrina will one day make amends. For now, however, we can only try to limit the damage she creates.

Your son,
John